Parent-Teacher’s Evening
Parent-teacher's evening last Tuesday felt like a lottery win, better than a lottery win; let me explain why…
On a grisly Friday afternoon 18 months ago, I had a conversation that changed everything; a threshold moment, you know the type when you experience enough pain that you MUST take action.
After months of conversations with the school, my five years old headmistress said to me, 'you are wasting your time with Freddie; he is the bottom of the pile, and he will always be the bottom of the pile. No one likes it when their child is bottom of the pile, there is nothing you can do about it.’
The SEND teacher was no more glowing 'the effort you are putting in is making it worse; he is a shot glass that you are trying to pour a pint into.’
Home felt brutal, with nightly tears, head banging on the wall, and being carried into school most days (Freddie not me)
So, my threshold was met, and I sat on the floor crying. Then I asked my favourite problem-solving question (‘what is great about this problem?) Try it, it’s magic, it flips your mind into a resourceful state (what was great….I had resources, energy, and dedication)
That weekend we researched the best schools for Freddie, by Sunday we had applied and by the end of that week he was in, and we were in.
So back to the lottery win at Parents evening. The shot glass has become a pint glass. He has caught up in all areas and is ahead in maths. What’s more, he LOVES school, he is confident and energised.
How can something change so quickly?
They rebuilt his confidence and belief first. We always act in accordance with our ‘I am...’ his went from ‘I am stupid’ to 'I am smart'
They adapted how they taught him, communicating in a way that made it easy for him. Great communicators focus on the meaning they want to create in their audience, not what’s easy for them to say
We found and focused on marginal gains, the simple habits that would make Freddie a success. Successful people are only people with successful habits
So what does this mean:
Confidence is critical; critical to the actions we choose, how well we learn, how we show up, you know this. But do you know how to build it in yourself when you need it?
Great leaders are great at acknowledging reality. Do you know if what you are doing is working? Is it getting the results you want? Are you adjusting your actions accordingly? Or are you unconsciously fixated on staying in your comfort zone, repeating out-of-date habits? Isn’t that like running in the direction of the East and hoping to find a sunset…
The people we surround ourselves with matter. The mood hoovers, the jerks, the slakers, the ones that don’t have the energy, values, or purpose we need cost us